Not fine as in, "Yeah, fine whatever." Fine as in, "Damn, that man is FINE!"
Yes, friends, I have finally found it fitting and proper to create a blogging account in what is known as "the Interwebs." It is important to adapt to the modern advancements of each century. That's why I use slang in everyday conversation, keep up with the most fabulous of hairstyles (in case you were wondering, I use gel), and use my highly interconnected web of influence to keep up on the affairs of small Japanese men. Because if there's one thing I've learned after years of solitude, it's that I know how to keep a grudge.
But don't think I've spent the whole time brooding and seducing women; I've picked up a few hobbies over the years. Dropped just as many, I might add. Sports? Been there, done that. Drinking? Elle's got nothing on me. (Though we do both happen to be blonde...perhaps we're related! Nope, not going to go there again.)
No, my most enduring hobby happens to concern you. Chances are, I already know who you are. Now I'm giving you a chance to know me. Back in England, I had a friend once who said, "All authority is equally bad." Which is why I'm saving you from it, by offering a hand in partnership to anyone with ultimate power.* We can make the world a better place...for our children.
*Amnesia and being chained to a shipping container in Cork, Ireland may or may not be included.
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7 comments:
I think we have a lot in common.
If helping you can make the man in the horn-rimmed glasses suffer unspeakable torment, then I am with you all the way.
Hello Adam,
What type of hair gel do you use? From the sounds of your post, we would make great friends.
I think it is important to note, that I am, in fact, much better looking than you and that is all have to say about that.
That's fine, Nathan, but it will be me with the perfect grin 20 years from now while you contend with the sagging jaw of age.
Mr. Muggles, my one equal--I prefer to have my gel specially made, for gentle hold and natural texture. I own a small factory in the Eastern US, I'll send you a free sample.
On another note, unspeakable torment happens to be my specialty. However, I am choosy over who I give it out to. I've got nothing against the man in horn-rimmed glasses, he seems like a good drinking buddy. If I hadn't quit.
Are you related to my husband?
That's a good question, Heidi.
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