Friday, January 18, 2008

Hey Hey You You

You'd be surprised how long a song can stay stuck in your head when you've got nothing but time on your hands...isn't life just pointless? Speaking of which, I'll be spending less time on my own blog (if only to write quick posts like this) and more time on Burnt Toast Diner.... that is, until we characters in this repetitive tragicomedy enter the next season...of trials and tribulations. The rest of my time I'll spend pondering my situation and challenging my apathetic outlook on life.

Oh, and as I've been teetering on and off the brink of insanity (not as fun as it sounds) (well, maybe just a little), I've become decidedly restless down here. So, I've been getting to know, hatching, scheming, that sort of thing. Someone wanna help out a friend with an evil plan? It's been such a long time since I've had one...(the next person who tells me I'm not so good at thinking these things through gets a knife through the head. I mean it. I'm serious)

Monday, January 7, 2008

All right people, come on

I'm almost neck-and-neck with Mr. Butler for 2nd place in the Burnt Toast Diner Poetry contest. Give me your vote and I might spare you from my latest plot for world domination. If I said it was the only thing hanging in the balance between me and utter insanity, would you do it?
For those of you wondering what I was talking about in my poem (it was a metaphor, for those of you who aren't as evolved as the rest of us), here's something I dug up that accurately expresses how I feel:

Can you imagine the horror? I think not.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

A poetry contest...

A collection of odes and sorrows, instigated solely to keep me (and you, I suppose) from the clutches of boredom during this time of inimminent suspension...isn't it nice of those folks over at Burnt Toast Diner to think of me (and, oh, all right, you)?

Check it poem will be making its debut soon enough. (I did write an epic poem but The Chef made me cut it down to a few short haikus.)

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

The Ten Brides of Takezo Kensei

I just woke up from the most horrible dream... In it, I was trapped in a narrow, dark space while being taunted by demons who were infinitely sexier than me. It was ridiculous, of course. No one is sexier than me. Except for…nevermind.

Anyway, the worst part of this dream was not the utter mediocrity of it all, it was the bit where I was slowly going batshit insane. Whew! Good thing that can't happen in real life, right? My mind just heals itself of all insanity. Although certain people would beg to differ, it would seem. (I never trust polls anyway)

So apparently, according to this week's graphic novel, I like women. A lot. When I'm not brooding over Hiro Nakamura, that is. Oh, and Nikki and I might be related.

It seems that some people had got the idea that I was gay, well that is completely untrue and the above novel proves it. I'll take either gender, really, I'm not sexist. "Ten Brides" doesn't even begin to cover...nevermind.

Anyway, I guess my cunning prettiness is not to be wasted in solitary confinement for long, if my hope is not purely imaginary. I AM still pretty, right? Right?

....I'm almost at my limit. Hurry up, Peter.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Guest Poster/Adam is Currently Busy Brooding

Hi's Lyle, you know, Claire's younger brother. You may be wondering, what am I doing here on an evil guy's blog? Well, I'm here to tell you, he's not evil? He's just misunderstood, like me. Ok he told me not to talk about myself too much so I'll just get straight to the point. He kinda like, when I was surfing the web and hacking stuff? Anyway it was a couple months ago and there was a message in my dad's mailbox and since no one ever tells me anything I kinda opened it and there was like a message from this guy Adam Monroe in it. I thought he seemed like someone I could trust, so I started talking and telling him about my life because I'm lonely and bored and he listens to me because he understands me and he's just a nice guy with no ulterior motives. To make a long story short we're homies now or something and he trusts me with things like this.

What exactly is things like this, you ask? Well, I'm supposed to do stuff for him in case he's like stuck in a box and going insane or something. I thought I should tell you guys that? Because when I like ran home to my computer after school the other day, I found a message from him telling me what to do. So that's what I'm doing. And maybe I'll post some stuff about myself here, too, if he lets me, because I have no one to talk to and I need somewhere to unload, you know, release all my inner feelings. I mean I have problems too, you know, does anyone care how I felt when I made the basketball team, or when I saw my dad come back from the dead? No? Well, that's all right too I yeah, that's it for now, and...back to the school again, I guess. That's where I sleep.

Love, Linus...Luke? I dunno, sometimes even I forget my own name...

Sunday, December 9, 2007

What's in the box?

I'm in the box! I can tell you that right now. But metaphysically speaking, does this box even exist? Do I exist? What is a box? Do we all have a box? Or is it Pandora's box? Am I going insane? Am I already insane? Did Peter stop the virus? Am I getting serious bed hair? I don't know! All I know is that I'm going insaner than I ever was.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Why does everyone seem to hate me?

Hana hates me because I want to steal vials of stuff, and so did Kaito (although now killing him might have something to do with it as well). Even Petey was starting to get the beady eyes of suspicion as I killed Victoria Pratt. She probably hates me too. :/

I don’t understand where it all comes from. I mean, I know I’m good looking for my age, but I don’t let it go to my head…unlike certain former politicians I know of, who have drinking problems. Hey, I used to have drinking problems...could we be…? Nah…too far-fetched. What, it’s not like I know these things…I would get drunk, then I’d sleep around, and before you know it there are a bunch of little evolved humans cropping up and I’d have to leave town. I don’t keep count.

Hmm, I wonder if that’s why so many people hate me? No, it must be the inherently rotten nature of human beings…Yes, that must be it.

I actually don’t care, I’m just trying to fix the world for these most ungrateful ****s and all they do is complain. The world sucks, it needs fixing. You can get an AARP card if you’re over 60, but not if you can live forever. As they say, what is up with that? It's discrepancies like these that makes me deplore the overaccumulation of the species, particularly the Americans. Well, they do have good pizza. But that doesn’t let them off.

I’m coming for you, America! Have a pizza ready.