tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35799069708507422802024-02-20T09:13:18.393-08:00The Trials of YouthAdam Monroehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10558914005002260176noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3579906970850742280.post-23821363877660882152008-01-18T19:38:00.000-08:002008-01-18T20:08:53.061-08:00Hey Hey You YouYou'd be surprised how long a song can stay stuck in your head when you've got nothing but time on your hands...isn't life just pointless? Speaking of which, I'll be spending less time on my own blog (if only to write quick posts like this) and more time on Burnt Toast Diner.... that is, until we characters in this repetitive tragicomedy enter the next season...of trials and tribulations. The rest of my time I'll spend pondering my situation and challenging my apathetic outlook on life.<br /><br />Oh, and as I've been teetering on and off the brink of insanity (not as fun as it sounds) (well, maybe just a little), I've become decidedly restless down here. So, I've been getting to thinking...you know, hatching, scheming, that sort of thing. Someone wanna help out a friend with an evil plan? It's been such a long time since I've had one...(the next person who tells me I'm not so good at thinking these things through gets a knife through the head. I mean it. I'm serious)Adam Monroehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10558914005002260176noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3579906970850742280.post-28277423745853389172008-01-07T17:18:00.000-08:002008-01-07T17:31:13.861-08:00All right people, come onI'm almost neck-and-neck with Mr. Butler for 2nd place in the <a href="http://www.blogger.com/www.burnttoastdiner.com">Burnt Toast Diner</a> Poetry contest. Give me your vote and I might spare you from my latest plot for world domination. If I said it was the only thing hanging in the balance between me and utter insanity, would you do it?<br />For those of you wondering what I was talking about in my <a href="http://www.burnttoastdiner.com/2008/01/poetic-contrast-imortality-and-death.html">poem</a> (it was a metaphor, for those of you who aren't as evolved as the rest of us), here's something I dug up that accurately expresses how I feel: <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=vdQj2ohqCBk">http://youtube.com/watch?v=vdQj2ohqCBk</a><br /><br />Can you imagine the horror? I think not.Adam Monroehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10558914005002260176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3579906970850742280.post-57216736538122493042008-01-02T10:48:00.000-08:002008-01-02T13:16:15.508-08:00A poetry contest...A collection of odes and sorrows, instigated solely to keep me (and you, I suppose) from the clutches of boredom during this time of inimminent suspension...isn't it nice of those folks over at <a href="http://www.burnttoastdiner.com/">Burnt Toast Diner</a> to think of me (and, oh, all right, you)?<br /><br />Check it out...my poem will be making its debut soon enough. (I did write an epic poem but The Chef made me cut it down to a few short haikus.)Adam Monroehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10558914005002260176noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3579906970850742280.post-88288903742640351332008-01-01T13:03:00.000-08:002008-01-02T10:44:41.373-08:00The Ten Brides of Takezo KenseiI just woke up from the most horrible dream... In it, I was trapped in a narrow, dark space while being taunted by demons who were infinitely sexier than me. It was ridiculous, of course. No one is sexier than me. Except for…nevermind.<br /><br />Anyway, the worst part of this dream was not the utter mediocrity of it all, it was the bit where I was slowly going batshit insane. Whew! Good thing that can't happen in real life, right? My mind just heals itself of all insanity. Although certain people would beg to differ, it would seem. (I never trust polls anyway)<br /><br />So apparently, according to this week's graphic novel, I like women. A lot. When I'm not brooding over Hiro Nakamura, that is. Oh, and Nikki and I might be related.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.nbc.com/Heroes/novels/downloads/Heroes_novel_066.pdf">http://www.nbc.com/Heroes/novels/downloads/Heroes_novel_066.pdf</a><br /><br />It seems that some people had got the idea that I was gay, well that is completely untrue and the above novel proves it. I'll take either gender, really, I'm not sexist. "Ten Brides" doesn't even begin to cover...nevermind.<br /><br />Anyway, I guess my cunning prettiness is not to be wasted in solitary confinement for long, if my hope is not purely imaginary. I AM still pretty, right? Right?<br /><br />....I'm almost at my limit. Hurry up, Peter.Adam Monroehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10558914005002260176noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3579906970850742280.post-41592950455670915502007-12-14T16:22:00.000-08:002007-12-15T21:23:35.088-08:00Guest Poster/Adam is Currently Busy BroodingHi guys...it's Lyle, you know, Claire's younger brother. You may be wondering, what am I doing here on an evil guy's blog? Well, I'm here to tell you, he's not evil? He's just misunderstood, like me. Ok he told me not to talk about myself too much so I'll just get straight to the point. He kinda like, when I was surfing the web and hacking stuff? Anyway it was a couple months ago and there was a message in my dad's mailbox and since no one ever tells me anything I kinda opened it and there was like a message from this guy Adam Monroe in it. I thought he seemed like someone I could trust, so I started talking and telling him about my life because I'm lonely and bored and he listens to me because he understands me and he's just a nice guy with no ulterior motives. To make a long story short we're homies now or something and he trusts me with things like this.<br /><br />What exactly is things like this, you ask? Well, I'm supposed to do stuff for him in case he's like stuck in a box and going insane or something. I thought I should tell you guys that? Because when I like ran home to my computer after school the other day, I found a message from him telling me what to do. So that's what I'm doing. And maybe I'll post some stuff about myself here, too, if he lets me, because I have no one to talk to and I need somewhere to unload, you know, release all my inner feelings. I mean I have problems too, you know, does anyone care how I felt when I made the basketball team, or when I saw my dad come back from the dead? No? Well, that's all right too I guess...so yeah, that's it for now, and...back to the school again, I guess. That's where I sleep.<br /><br />Love, Linus...Luke? I dunno, sometimes even I forget my own name...Adam Monroehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10558914005002260176noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3579906970850742280.post-20226484287873961392007-12-09T19:48:00.000-08:002007-12-09T20:36:08.928-08:00What's in the box?I'm in the box! I can tell you that right now. But metaphysically speaking, does this box even exist? Do I exist? What is a box? Do we all have a box? Or is it Pandora's box? Am I going insane? Am I already insane? Did Peter stop the virus? Am I getting serious bed hair? I don't know! All I know is that I'm going insaner than I ever was.Adam Monroehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10558914005002260176noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3579906970850742280.post-55266275806848462092007-12-01T20:01:00.000-08:002007-12-01T22:24:53.536-08:00Why does everyone seem to hate me?<a href="http://www.burnttoastdiner.com/2007/12/danger-were-all-going-to-die.html">Hana</a> hates me because I want to steal vials of stuff, and so did Kaito (although now killing him might have something to do with it as well). Even Petey was starting to get the beady eyes of suspicion as I killed Victoria Pratt. She probably hates me too. :/<br /><br />I don’t understand where it all comes from. I mean, I know I’m good looking for my age, but I don’t let it go to my head…unlike certain former politicians I know of, who have drinking problems. Hey, I used to have drinking problems...could we be…? Nah…too far-fetched. What, it’s not like I know these things…I would get drunk, then I’d sleep around, and before you know it there are a bunch of little evolved humans cropping up and I’d have to leave town. I don’t keep count.<br /><br />Hmm, I wonder if that’s why so many people hate me? No, it must be the inherently rotten nature of human beings…Yes, that must be it.<br /><br />I actually don’t care, I’m just trying to fix the world for these most ungrateful ****s and all they do is complain. The world sucks, it needs fixing. You can get an AARP card if you’re over 60, but not if you can live forever. As they say, what is up with that? It's discrepancies like these that makes me deplore the overaccumulation of the species, particularly the Americans. Well, they do have good pizza. But that doesn’t let them off.<br /><br />I’m coming for you, America! Have a pizza ready.Adam Monroehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10558914005002260176noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3579906970850742280.post-31272370326975009372007-11-27T19:17:00.000-08:002007-11-28T15:49:04.860-08:00All right, I know it's been said before......but what is the BIG DEAL about killing people?? Seriously...everything I've done is for the greater good...including that time with the ice chest, and the hooker...not including the times I was bored...people just don't understand.<br /><br /><br /><br />Like when I tried to break out of Primatech Paper with the virus. I am HELPING people with that virus...once they are all dead, you will thank me, I swear. Plus it gives me something to do, and I get to meet all these interesting people who will eventually betray me and leave me even more embittered than before...but no, Kaito did not understand. He ordered some men to grab me with their rough and burly hands, and throw my defenseless body into a cell before I could even cry "RAPE!"<br /><br /><br /><br />Peter didn't understand either, when I killed Victoria Pratt...at least not until I convinced him I was in the right, the gullible puppy. He saved my life, I saved his, it's a good trade off I think. I should have never told people that shooting my head off would kill me...at the time, I thought I wanted to die, to rid myself of the hideous leech of human life...but no. Now I have a purpose, to kill other people instead...<br /><br /><br /><br />Wait a minute...listen to me...I'm starting to sound like that awful Company girl! I don't enjoy killing people! Only when I have nothing else to do... I don't want to sound like her...we never did get along...<br /><br /><br /><br />"DAAD, Adam hit me!"<br /><br />"I did not! Shut up!"<br /><br /><br /><br />Somehow every encounter with her seemed to end up in witholding food from me for another week...no, I definitely do not want to be like Elle. Instead, I will be a tragic figure, tragically misunderstood, tragically killing people for the greater good, tragically. With my tragic partner Peter. Hey, Peter, put that noose down!Adam Monroehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10558914005002260176noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3579906970850742280.post-88627300458976338102007-11-26T00:03:00.000-08:002007-11-26T16:56:41.915-08:00This day just keeps getting better...So I wake up this morning and get thoroughly run through by a javelin. I know, fun, right? WRONG, I mean, unless you hadn't already done that about 15 times already. Peter hadn't, so I shared the experience to take his mind off his pains.<br /><br />Then I tried turning on my opera tapes to cheer myself up, but it turns out the Company had already got to them during my incarceration...they had all been replaced by Elle's horrible showtunes and Bob humming along in the background...speaking of which...why isn't he dead yet?? When it is implied that someone is going to die, I mean it! I might have to do it myself, since I can't trust anyone to follow through my instructions...how predictable...<br /><br />So I set off to the music store to find some more classics...the owner guy was really creepy and bald and had a seedy-looking mustache of some sort...<br /><br /><a href="http://img514.imageshack.us/my.php?image=tapestoreop8.png" target="_blank"><img alt="Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us" src="http://img514.imageshack.us/img514/1160/tapestoreop8.th.png" border="0" /></a><br /><br />"I'm looking for Le Nozze de Figaro, 1786"<br /><br />"Uhh, sorry, we don't carry that anymore"<br /><br />"Look, I'm kind of in a to-do here young man, I'm trying to change history and I need to come up with a plan that involves revenge, a virus, and world domi--peace ASAP and I can't take excuses right now! What DO you have?"<br /><br />Turns out that was a total waste of time, I guess this decade sucks as far as musical tastes go. All the guy had were a bunch of tapes with a weird sort of grunting on them...whatever...I stabbed the guy with my javelin and turned to leave. I got shot trying to leave the store...they could have been friends of the owner dude, but they also could have been after my old (albeit ruined) opera tapes, and I wasn't going to let them off for that...so I killed them too and went home.<br /><br />When I finally returned, I found Peter lying in a pool of blood...not his own blood, of course, I think it was elephant or chicken or some such. He was crying as per usual and it was quite disturbing. So I surprised him with a gift of brand new sock puppets to quiet him some and then got to thinking on what to do next...Adam Monroehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10558914005002260176noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3579906970850742280.post-18003037873787321182007-11-24T18:31:00.000-08:002007-11-25T12:09:54.277-08:00Victoria Pratt<a href="http://img216.imageshack.us/my.php?image=kaitoen4.png" target="_blank"><img alt="Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us" src="http://img216.imageshack.us/img216/1261/kaitoen4.th.png" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Hey, what’s that picture doing there? Great, now I’ll have to deal with his fish-faced progeny out for revenge.<br /><br /><a href="http://img413.imageshack.us/my.php?image=hiroswordvl3.png" target="_blank"><img alt="Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us" src="http://img413.imageshack.us/img413/4958/hiroswordvl3.th.png" border="0" /></a><br /><br />“My name is Hiro Nakamura, you kill my father, prepare to die!”<br /><br />As if I didn’t have enough on my platter to begin with…I still haven’t found Victoria Pratt…I just want to talk with her, honestly. If only I could lure that dyslexic cop to the dark side…I mean, the light side…<br /><br /><a href="http://img216.imageshack.us/my.php?image=shantihi4.jpg" target="_blank"><img alt="Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us" src="http://img216.imageshack.us/img216/1189/shantihi4.th.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Also top on my list of priorities: THE SHANTI VIRUS.<br /><br />Not that I would use it for its destructive properties or anything. Deadly viruses can be very beneficial…for…humanitarian purposes. Yes.<br /><br />I would just like to remind all of you out there who might be reading: revenge is not the answer…there are some things you just need to let go of. Like everything you love being laid to waste. I mean, come on, you should definitely not seek out the killer of your father and attempt to assert violence on his person, right? It’s just bad karma.Adam Monroehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10558914005002260176noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3579906970850742280.post-59802633818998573392007-11-23T14:53:00.000-08:002007-11-23T16:06:23.478-08:00Warning: Evil Paper Company!<a href="http://img511.imageshack.us/my.php?image=escapeeh5.png" target="_blank"><img alt="Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us" src="http://img511.imageshack.us/img511/7844/escapeeh5.th.png" border="0" /></a><br /><br />A little over six months ago, I escaped from Company clutches with my new BFF. The first thing I did was eat a sandwich. They didn't even feed me over at the Company, they just forgot about me after a while...and believe me, it's not something I'm the type to forget. Be sure to read more about what I've been up to post-incarceration <a href="http://www.burnttoastdiner.com/2007/11/spot-of-tea-and-waffles.html">here</a>.<br /><br />And yes, before you ask, I did try seducing Bob. Didn't work...I quickly gave it up, turns out nothing could tempt me into becoming THAT desperate.<br /><br /><a href="http://img340.imageshack.us/my.php?image=bobit0.png" target="_blank"><img alt="Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us" src="http://img340.imageshack.us/img340/9018/bobit0.th.png" border="0" /></a> <a onclick="MM_openBrWindow('displayimage.php?pid=4&fullsize=1','9156657584747676737891','scrollbars=yes,toolbar=no,status=no,resizable=yes,width=503,height=317')" href="javascript:;"></a><br /><br />I did start on his daughter, though...a desperate moment if ever there was one. Needless to say, it ended badly. Pity...she was cute for a Company rat and a psycho. What can I say, it can get pretty lonely in a holding cell....and it would have been a lot less squicky if I hadn't watched her grow up. I suppose loneliness is the price you pay for eternal youth.<br /><br />I'm trying to bring down this Company, but one of my followers has been compromised. So if you are looking for revenge, and have no problem with killing people, I have a spot open for you. Time's running short, however, so don't dally...please bump off Bob Bishop immediately.Adam Monroehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10558914005002260176noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3579906970850742280.post-77676138929017044242007-11-09T17:54:00.000-08:002007-11-09T18:47:59.369-08:00400 Years and Lookin' FineNot fine as in, "Yeah, fine whatever." Fine as in, "Damn, that man is FINE!"<br /><br />Yes, friends, I have finally found it fitting and proper to create a blogging account in what is known as "the Interwebs." It is important to adapt to the modern advancements of each century. That's why I use slang in everyday conversation, keep up with the most fabulous of hairstyles (in case you were wondering, I use gel), and use my highly interconnected web of influence to keep up on the affairs of small Japanese men. Because if there's one thing I've learned after years of solitude, it's that I know how to keep a grudge.<br /><br />But don't think I've spent the whole time brooding and seducing women; I've picked up a few hobbies over the years. Dropped just as many, I might add. Sports? Been there, done that. Drinking? Elle's got nothing on me. (Though we do both happen to be blonde...perhaps we're related! Nope, not going to go there again.)<br /><br />No, my most enduring hobby happens to concern you. Chances are, I already know who you are. Now I'm giving you a chance to know me. Back in England, I had a friend once who said, "All authority is equally bad." Which is why I'm saving you from it, by offering a hand in partnership to anyone with ultimate power.* We can make the world a better place...for our children.<br /><br />*Amnesia and being chained to a shipping container in Cork, Ireland may or may not be included.Adam Monroehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10558914005002260176noreply@blogger.com7